Now that the “bae-cations” are over and the “summer flings” have ended (although some may have lingered), it’s fall and that means it’s officially cuddle season!

Here are some basic tips whether you’re dating, getting back into dating, or entering the next phase of a current relationship.

It seems true, unfortunately, that it’s become the norm to see dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships unfold in the media and television. With October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month on our heels, it’s good to keep healthy reminders in mind during the cuddling seasons.

Don’t ignore the red flags. If you’re making excuses for your spouse or partner, stop. Even if it’s, “just this one time.” If you’re   lying to cover up their disrespect, abuse or ill treatment towards you, stop! These are unhealthy traits that do not get better over time, and not speaking up or stepping away could only be more damaging to your well being and the relationship.

Never hold back. Being vulnerable displays confidence and strength, it also allows your significant other to know what makes you tick, your likes and dislikes and vice versa.

Be direct. Don’t assume or expect your spouse will catch the hints. Games are played out, and none of us can read minds. Avoid beating around the bush and say what you mean and more importantly mean what you say… every time.

It’s you, plus one. Don’t lose yourself. Change to be a better you, not because someone is forcing you to be someone you’re not or you’re uncomfortable with. If you feel less of yourself or your friends and family point out that you seem different, listen and reassess! Asking for space is not a bad thing. Realizing when a relationship is not working, it’s best not to force what isn’t working.

Compromise. Life isn’t easy and neither is dating or relationships. Everyone is different and you must realize that as different as this person is to you, you are to them. Agree to disagree when necessary. Always listen to each other. Understand people change and their changes may not work for you or the relationship, that’s ok.

These helpful tips are in no way to serve as a “how to” or a guide to dating or relationships, but lust and love can be easy to get lost in and the lines can quickly blur. Keep an open mind, live in the moment and learn from your mistakes.

Enjoy your cuddling!