Oh, ever-coveted thigh gap, how you have begun to consume the minds and bodies of women. You know, when you stand with your legs together, but there is nothing but blissful space between your legs.

This desire has begun to run rampant in women all over the U.S. with sites dedicated to “the gap” such as The Chive and Twitter.

But how do you get there? Do you starve yourself? Skip meals? Throw up what little food you finally convinced yourself it was okay to eat?

I know I did the last one. I desperately wanted to be skinny, to have that gap between my thunder thighs.

I didn’t eat much, and when I did, I vomited afterwards feeling guilty for sabotaging my goal. I worked out everyday, running extra hard, putting in extra work, just so I could shave off that extra fat.

One day, my body gave up on me. I ended up in the hospital with an IV in my hand because I was severely dehydrated.

That was the wake up call I needed. I’m not saying I got better overnight, but I realized I was going about this all wrong. I’m an athlete and a woman. I have muscle because I work out. I have fat because I am going to bear children one day, both of those things are okay. I just needed that happy medium.

For me, that medium is not stepping on a scale. The number on that scale determines how good I feel about my body. If it’s higher than a certain number it takes away any happiness I had over my body image, so I don’t use it. I eat, work out and enjoy how I look in the mirror, because no matter how good I think I look, that number will kill it all.

“Any number of factors play into whether a woman has a significant thigh gap, including genetics, ethnicity, pelvic size and width” said Laura Tosi, director of the bone health program at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. to The Denver Post on April 5.

“Weight loss is proportional, so most girls who don’t have a natural gap, one bigger than a peephole, would have to lose a lot of weight to achieve the kind of thighs coveted on social media,” Tosi said.

There is nothing wrong with dieting, watching what you eat or counting calories. But keep in mind that it is okay to splurge and not feel guilty. If you are working hard, reward yourself. Eat your favorite snack. I know I do.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to work out. Making your lungs burn with your run or feeling that all-over tingle when you finally break that sweat are both good things. Just make sure you aren’t over working yourself and if you are working out, you need to be eating so you can successfully do so.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, especially if it’s something that you really want.

Talk to your doctor and find out how much weight you can lose healthily. If you achieve your goals the right way, you’ll be happy and your body will be happy too.